Welcome to the blog, which I’ll do my best to update every week. Sometimes I’ll post one of my newspaper columns – now largely featuring the vexed questions of married life, getting older and coping with lockdown – and sometimes it’ll be news and views on my writing, or writing in general. I’m also aware that a few people who read my books would like to write their own books, so from time to time I’ll write some ‘advice’ posts as well…
Mark Richards

Welcome to the B&B

My wife has often been wrong. On countless occasions. Sometimes spectacularly wrong. There was that time when… And then there was… And… Yes, well. None of them exactly spring to mind just now. But I know I’m right. And never, ever, was she more wrong than a week before Christmas. Wide of the mark? Cow’s […]


Why Am I Here?

Thank God, you think. After a year’s wittering about trivialities he’s finally addressing a serious question. Something worth reading. Some deep philosophical insight… Why am I here? Why are any of us here? What is the purpose of our lives? Nope. Sorry. I’m in the bathroom. It’s 4:30 in the afternoon, I’m standing by the […]


The Ten Minute Warning

When I were nowt but a nipper we ’ad t’four minute warning. The Cold War. Four minutes. The time you had before a Russian missile landed on your head. “Only four minutes left. What would you do?” we cheerfully asked each other as teenagers. “Ask Angela Miller out again,” I dolefully replied. “Couldn’t say she […]


The Soggy Middle

Last Friday. Three conversations with my wife. 8:30 “I got on the scales this morning. Must lose weight before Christmas.” 11:30 “I’m just having one of these new chocolate biscuits with my coffee.” 3:30 “It must be five o’clock by now. Shall I open a bottle of wine?” I’m currently half way through my second […]


The Whipping Boy

Where did we leave it last week? Ah yes, a slight accident with the bread. The wife had carelessly left me in charge. A slight loss of concentration. Forgot the timings. Had to take a wild stab at it. Don’t worry. She’s none the wiser. “Hmmm…” she said, “This bread hasn’t risen very much.” I […]


King Alfred’s Heir

As regular readers know, I have long considered myself to be the rightful King of Northumberland, descended – on my mother’s side – from King AElla. Once I’d heard the story from Auntie Marjorie I needed no further convincing – despite the fact that she lived in a semi in Wakefield, rather than a hill […]