Welcome to the blog, which I’ll do my best to update every week. Sometimes I’ll post one of my newspaper columns – now largely featuring the vexed questions of married life, getting older and coping with lockdown – and sometimes it’ll be news and views on my writing, or writing in general. I’m also aware that a few people who read my books would like to write their own books, so from time to time I’ll write some ‘advice’ posts as well…
Mark Richards

The Ten Minute Warning

When I were nowt but a nipper we ’ad t’four minute warning. The Cold War. Four minutes. The time you had before a Russian missile landed on your head. “Only four minutes left. What would you do?” we cheerfully asked each other as teenagers. “Ask Angela Miller out again,” I dolefully replied. “Couldn’t say she […]


The Soggy Middle

Last Friday. Three conversations with my wife. 8:30 “I got on the scales this morning. Must lose weight before Christmas.” 11:30 “I’m just having one of these new chocolate biscuits with my coffee.” 3:30 “It must be five o’clock by now. Shall I open a bottle of wine?” I’m currently half way through my second […]


The Whipping Boy

Where did we leave it last week? Ah yes, a slight accident with the bread. The wife had carelessly left me in charge. A slight loss of concentration. Forgot the timings. Had to take a wild stab at it. Don’t worry. She’s none the wiser. “Hmmm…” she said, “This bread hasn’t risen very much.” I […]


King Alfred’s Heir

As regular readers know, I have long considered myself to be the rightful King of Northumberland, descended – on my mother’s side – from King AElla. Once I’d heard the story from Auntie Marjorie I needed no further convincing – despite the fact that she lived in a semi in Wakefield, rather than a hill […]


I’m in Tiers

“I may be a bit dim,” I said. My wife smiled. “No, darling. No-one could possibly say that. Lots of people climb over gates onto railway lines.” It’s a good job I’m a patient man… “…As I understand it, we can go for a walk with them. But we’re not allowed to knock on their […]


Bill the Bogeyman

Let me start with an apology. If you’re forced to self-isolate, it’s my fault. If Boris comes round and bricks you up in your house… Yep, that would be me. The Government is now relying on me for data. I’m part of the Covid-19 testing programme. What could possibly go wrong? My wife got the […]